If you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything...

I have been very hesitate on writing on my blog lately. There are many reasons for this but the main one is I am trying to be very positive, trying to have a great attitude, trying to be so supportive and most of all I am still not sure how I am feeling about this whole situation.

The thing is I have been taught so much in the month and half since my sister was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer.  I always knew my sister was amazing, I have always been one of her biggest fans.  She is not only a wonderful sister, but a wonderful mother, aunt, friend and now she is some one I look up to more and more everyday!

I have seen so much courage in her, so much faith, so much positivity that I am blown away.

I need to be that way, I need to have more faith, and more courage, and I need to be more like her.

I am going to be honest here for a minute...

This is hard and I mean really hard to watch!! I don't like seeing her hurt, or be sick.  I don't like to see little Anderson and wonder what is going on his little mind, does he know things have been a bit different for a little while???  I do not like that Kinsley and Karlie know that the words cancer, chemo, and mastectomy exist and hate even more that they know what they mean. I hate to watch my mother and father, they are so worried about her, as we all are but its different when its your kid...now that I am a mother I understand their worry and that is hard to watch!!

This is part of why I have not wrote anything yet, because we are just by standers, we can not do anything to really help her with this fight. Sure we can be supportive, we can watch the kids,we can cook, we can clean, we can drive her to and from appts, we can sit with her when she is sick, wash hair and fix wigs, lift her up when she is having a bad day, but we can not take the pain away we can not make this go away...and that stinks!! IT is soo hard, I can not put into words how much that stinks!
I have not said anything because I have nothing nice to say about this whole situation...until now.

My sister is amazing!! She is strong, determined and the biggest role model to me. Her faith and courageous attitude is catching and I hope to catch some of it even if it is just a small portion. I knew she was loved by us, but to see how many she is loved by and how many she affects in a positive way daily is overwhelming.  We are all feeling the love from the friends, co workers, and strangers and that is a wonderful feeling.

It is out of this world how many cards she gets a day, how many people want to help in some way, and how much love she has felt from the beginning.  The words THANK YOU do not seem like enough!

Andie, you keep that positive attitude, you keep that courageous spirit, and most off all you keep your amazing faith. you keep showing me and others what true strength really looks like...like you said to me the day you found out about this.." this cancer did not know who it was messing with.." trust me it sure did not!!!

Proverbs 31: 25