"Have you ever flown a kite in bed? did you ever walk with ten cats on your head?"-Dr. Suess

Today was kite day at school, last day before spring break and one of the most beautiful days we have had yet..... I have lots of fun pictures to share and will get them up on here this weekend or tomorrow or who knows maybe even tonight?? HOWEVER.....the title of this post sums up my day..hahah I think trying to fly a kite in bed, or walking with ten cats on my head would have been easier then trying to herd (sorry but that really is the best word I can use to describe it...) 8 excited, over stimulated, and ready for a break kiddos in a small grassy area near a creek (that is fenced in but still it scares me to death) and helping them all fly kites..oh yea did I mention I was alone?? hmm? no well I was with 8 4-5 yrs old. It was a great day, a tiring one, and one that I hope the kiddos loved. I will miss them over this two week break but am soooo happy to have this two week break! Going out with the girls tonight for a friends bday, woot woot!! so I get to get dolled up and can't wait!! better get off here and figure out something cute to wear....look for an update with pics soon!

Warning...she is about to blow!!!!

I am usually not a debbie downer...or a negative nancy....and this post really isn't negative just more ventfull!!! is that a word?? anywho...I digress I love this one aspect of my life, sure it is hard, sure there are days that I want to quit, that I want to fight and scream back and say "really, anyone can find the negative with something how about you try to say something nice for a change.." or " well if we are making a list of things wrong with (this that shall remain nameless) lets start with you and how much better it could be with out you..." or my all time favorite and one I am so afraid of blurting out when I get to my breaking point.." I know everything you have said, I know everything you have done, and every way you have tried to make me fail, every way you have lied, every way you have manipulated the situation to make us all look bad when in reality it was your mistake not ours...." the list could on and on. How does one stay positive with constant negative thoughts, actions, and seems like constant one upence or for lack of a better term constant only finding the bad never finding the good, or having a kind word to say about or to that person. I am trying, I am praying, I am asking God to come into my heart and help me with me, help me to show love and love and more love. I refuse to sit back and just nod my head or say "yes -----" whatever you say and do it anymore...I am at my wits ends. In everything I do I could use improvement I am not a perfect person, never claimed to be! but no matter how much I try with this one situation, or don't try, or stand up for myself, or bite a hole in my tongue because I am trying to not say something for being afraid I would say to much, or get everything done perfect, or not perfect but still done....it is never good enough. I get talked about, blasted if you will, and some if it is just not true! and it hurts, and it makes me feel inadequate and my buttons get pushed, and really I could on and on but I won't! I refuse to give this any more of time or attention today! I am going to figure it out, I am going to love and be loved and stop worrying or seeking approval that won't be there, and learn that I truly am the one in charge of my own piece of the world and I can make it be as good as I need!!

Warm sun, blue sky..

BEAUTIFUL,WONDERFUL,GLORIOUS, PERFECT.... those are just some of the words that I would use to describe our weekend!! Crystal blue skies, no clouds in sight, warm sun on our skin and the sound of soccer mom and dads cheering on their favorite little players. First, goal of the game by none other then Tyler Robinson!!!! Won both games, saw my son have some of the most wonderful assists, and foot skills..and even better then that watching him get schooled by a girl!!! PRICELESS!!! I am also firing Warren from videoing the games with flip, why you ask?? because he is so involved with the game he misses the action with the camera. We get alot of grass, feet, and the end of the wonderful plays but not the actual plays themselves..so he is fired and I will try to get better video this weekend. Emily Klair got to have hitting practice last week, the weather has not been cooperating so we have not been able to have real softball practice yet, unlike soccer, if it sprinkles they cancel so the fields won't get messed up. So hitting inside at the top of the old high school where I use to practice is all she has gotten to do. And well, she is mine so I get to say she did awesome!! The hitting coach agrees, and said she has some "natural" talent!! We shall see as the season goes on but I am excited to get this going and watch her have a blast on the softball field. Thank you all for your kind words on my last post, still not 100% but I am back to work and gonna try to make it to a work out tomorrow for the first time. I am not sure what is going on but it is not fun when it happens, I get sweaty, pulse races, feel like I have an elephant on my chest or someone squeezing my chest to the point of no return, then I get sick to my stomach throw up, feel weak, then it passes in about an hour, minus a little discomfort in my chest. Every test is coming back fine but even morphine, and phenagren couldn't control my pain or vomiting at the hospital, they know something is going on just not sure what?? I don't have my gallbladder, but they have said I could still have stones without my gallbladder?? who knew go figure?? I have decided to just wait and hold off before calling and making the follow up with the doctor, just hate having test and things run, nothing ever shows anything!! Even my MRI for my shoulder showed nothing but a small tear it wasn't till they got in there during surgery that they saw that I basically tore every cartilage, ligament off the bone front and back, and my rotator cuff was caught in my shoulder joint....major surgery!! but nothing but a small tear in my cartilage on the MRI...same with EK negative pregnancy test till over 10 wks along!! so nothing ever shows up for me..so why spend the money? that is my thought anyway... ok sorry this post got hijacked by my medical drama from last week...sorry about that! if you are still reading thanks... so one of my news years resolutions was to tell more of my story, hmmm how can I say this I haven't had one post about my story...I can't seem to get it together, it is like I am afraid to write it, or post it , or rethink about it. I don't know?? Something is holding me back and I don't know why?? I have no problems sharing but at the same time I can't let myself hit publish post?!?!? and it is driving me crazy, so I think I am going to have to start off with something easy, something light and fluffy!! so if I have not shared this week please make me!! hold me accountable!!

I am still alive...

Well, I am still alive, kinda anyways!! I was just in the hospital for something?? still not sure what is going on just know that I feel horrible, and they thought it was something with my heart, but turns out my heart is great! Good to know seeing as how I treat my body horribly... So anywho, not up to par, still feeling lousy, trying to get over what ever it is, and feel better!! Saturday is Ty's first travel game, so we shall see how it all goes we are all excited about it, and we do not have to travel very far this time only about an hour, so can't wait to show you all some videos and cool pictures of him rocking it out on the soccer field!! Hope everyone is well and can't wait to catch up with everyone!!

fell off the wagon..

so I missed Zumba twice this week...and well I think I am self sabotaging myself because my eating has went downhill all week and I can't stop.... so this is me admitting that I Kari, am officially struggling with the weight loss and I have fallen off the wagon, will do a mucho better job next week..but since this week is already kaput....bring on the food!! Hope everyone has a great weekend... we at the Robinson's are going to get some spring cleaning done!!! oh I can't wait (so sarcastic...wish there was a font for that emotion )

randomness that is in my head....

bad couple of days...just in a big funk....trying hard to get out of it....need an attitude adjustment!!! it is no ones fault, nobody did anything wrong, have the best family, and friends....so why the funk?? not sure??? missed my zumba class last night, feel really guilty this morning....had a rough day at school with one of my precious little ones....have lots I want to blog about but can't seem to get my thoughts together to make any sense of them.... loving having my windows open during the day, and to sleep at night, ready to hit some high school baseball and softball games..not to mention tennis matches.... count down for the tennis beach trip is officially on... random thoughts that have been on my mind this morning..in no particular order... found out EK's softball coach for this season...and soo excited she has 3 friends on the team and is going to be coached by one of the girls I played softball with in high school and can't wait she will learn so much this season... Tyler is playing travel soccer...whoo hoo he is so excited but we are fixing to be running in different directions...and our schedule (that I am working on this morning ) will be as follows.. Mon-ty soccer practice.5:30-6:30, EK practice 7-8:30 tues-mom zumba, ek gymnastics,maybe ty soccer?? still working on that one?? wed-ty song leading, speech, all of us church thurs-mom zumba,ty soccer practice 6-7, EK softball 7-8:30 fri-free unless we are gonna be traveling for a tourney with soccer... they want the travel players to also play rec this season so he will have rec games and travel games and practice for both....and this is just our schedule as they practice when real games start it will change again....don't forget homework, and eating and showers and sleep....geesh I am tired thinking about it!! haha so sorry for the randomness that is this post..but now you know what it is like inside my head this morning....fun times huh??

not liking this growing up thing...

I have always said that this blog was more my journal, and somewhere that I could write and share my thoughts so one day EK and TY could read it. So EK will probably kill me when she gets older and reads this entry, and Ty may too with some of the entries about him, but I hope they read it one day and see how much fun we had and how loved they are... With that said, we have hit another milestone in the Robinson house hold...and well I am not sure I should be posting about this but it is too cute too not...she is only 8 so it still qualifies as cute right?!?! Well, we just bought EK her first real set of "big girl" undergarments...I have noticed in a couple of her shirts and things for school that she needed something, so we tried the undershirt approach and that worked for a little while but here lately she has needed more...so tonight was the night. She was soo cute picking out what she liked and trying them on, and it was bittersweet to me. I have always wanted a girl to do fun stuff with like shop (even though I am not a shopper?) get nails done together, go to lunch dates, just have fun being girls together. Tonight was one of those nights that was fun to watch her get excited and act so grown up, but it made it me sad because she is growing up. Tonight we are experiencing some really big storms and under a tornado watch, she hates storms!! so when we got home and her bath had been taken she curled up in my lap...not beside me and laying in my lap but IN my lap, and we just cuddled, and talked and she tried on my hoop earrings and it was just a sweet moment. I love that my kids are growing up, but there is a big part of me that wishes they were still babies and needed me more...but I will take any of those special moments like tonight I can get.