Tuesday, April 22, 2008
One of those days...argh!!!
Emily Klair woke up about 1:00 a.m. this morning and crawled in bed with us. For the next hour I laid awake watching her twitch, moan, and distort into all kinds of ways. It kills me to sit by and watch her have seizures. I can honestly say it tears my heart out everytime. I guess then I should have known by her night what this morning would be like. Emily Klair and I were getting ready for school and work, I was brushing her hair and talking to her about her day, I asked her to practice her memory verse for the preschool graduation. I did not get a response... so I started to get a little annoyed that she was not answering me. I told her please do not start this morning(she is not a morning person..I know I know she got it from me) we are having a good morning...lets keep it that way. Still no response from her, at this moment I am beginning to get really annoyed with her. I turn her around, and as I touch her she falls to the ground..lost all muscle control... I pick her up and it feels as if I am holding a stiff board. I have seen it so many times you would think that I would have picked up on it sooner...talk about feeling like mother of the year..here I stand yelling and being annoyed with her while her brain is misfiring signals making her miserable. After about 2 minutes of me holding her and talking to her...she finally comes too, and her first words are "momma I don't feel so good" and I know that she was answering me from 5 minutes ago unaware of what just happened. As she gets older she is able to talk to us and tell us what it feels like and what she remembers and what she doesn't. This morning she says she remembers me asking her to practice her memory verse and then she felt funny and she thought that she was answering me. I pray everyday that she will outgrow the seizures. I hate that days like today happen, but I am truly thankful that I have a God that takes care of us and loves us, even on days like today when I am a little mad, frustrated, and sad.