Monday, September 29, 2008
Calling all mothers...
I have always prided myself on having well behaved children. We have been told how good they are from strangers in the mall, Dr.'s office, and we have even had someone pay for our dinner one time and was told the reason they wanted to do it was because it was refreshing to sit next to children that had manners and was well behaved, and not screaming and making a mess. Now with that being said I want you to know that they are kids and they do make messes and they are loud and they do not always use their manners...but they are also precious and I personally think that they are the best kids...(most days..hehe and I can say that I am the mom!)
But here is where I need the help of you other mothers. How do you know when you are being too hard on them?? Where is the line between letting them be kids, picking your battles if you will?? I do not feel that I am hard on them, maybe I am?? I do not want them to be perfect angels all the time, I mean where is the fun in that??
I am asking all of these questions because I want to hear from you moms out there on what you think...We are having some issues with Tyler (7yr old 2nd grader)right now and it is almost as if he is having anxiety attacks..and it is all about something he "thinks" he has done wrong or could have done wrong?? It is has gotten worse in the last few months, and today I got called to pick him up from school because he got so upset (about something very small....) that he made himself sick, physically sick. So I just want to hear from you all and see what you all have to say about it?? I do not want him to feel this way anymore...I do not want him to get sick over small things anymore..and I want him to know that no one is perfect and it is ok to make mistakes. We tell him this all the time and it is just getting worse..it is like he is too hard on himself...how do you help someone with that? Especially when that someone is 7yrs old??
I am pretty open to some suggestions right now, I am worried about him. Please know that he is loved and told daily how proud I am to be his mother and how blessed we are because of him.
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2 comments:
From what I have learned of you from your blog and your friends, I can almost 100% assure you that his anxiety attacks are not a result of your discipline. I'm quite positive that you don't abuse him either physically or emotionally and, would therefore, say that the anxiety attacks are more of his body's own doing.
NOT that I am blaming him, because I've had a dear friend who suffers from anxiety, and believe me, it is not a choice. But, neither is it the fault of anyone outside of him...it is along the lines of depression, reflux, asthma, or any other condition. It's just the body not ticking exactly the "right" way.
So, I suppose what I'm saying is that, before you start blaming yourself for what is, apparently, good parenting...you might want to have Tyler talk to his pediatrician. Let the medical person, determine what's going on.
In my prayers.
It is hard to watch any child deal with anxiety. I cannot imagine how troubling it is with your own child. I often question if I am too hard on my kids. My two year old daughter has started saying "Are you mad at me?" every time I try to simply tell her to stop or do something differently. I don't know where she gets that, but it sounds a lot like ME. I don't say that I'm mad at her, but I have always been distraught when someone was mad at me. Is that inherited??? It makes me sad that she cares so much about me being happy with her at all times.
I remind myself repeatedly that my parents were good disciplinarians and even lost their temper from time to time. I was never beated, but I did make them angry at times. They were consistent and would apologize if they felt they had over-reacted. We're not going to get it all right all the time. But, we need to be honest with them. I have had those moments where I needed to apologize to my children when I over-reacted to something small. My childhood was very nurturing despite human parents, and the same will be for our children.
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