Last day :(

Well, we just finished up the kids soccer season. Tyler's game was at 8:00 this morning. (whoever decided that 8:00 am was a good time to play soccer must be crazy!!) He loves soccer and is a natural at it...I love to watch him play. Every time he is out there I can't help but think how blessed we are that he is able to walk much less run fast and kick a soccer ball like a pro. I realize how different his life could have been and I am so very thankful!! Emily Klair was on the soccer field today but not sure what she was doing would have been considered "playing soccer"... more like running around watching. It is still fun to see her playing and laughing. Now the count down begins till the fall season. I just love the soccer season it is so fun for us. Warren made it home last night and it is sooo good to have him home. I love watching sissy run to him at the airport and give him a big hug...she is such a daddy's girl!! I think he missed us just as much as we missed him!

Missing daddy....

Warren left for a business trip to TX on Tuesday of this week...and it has only been one day and the kids and I are missing him something terrible. It is funny how things just seem to run smoothly when everyone is home and he and I work as a team when it comes to parenting. Not that the kids have been bad (not these angels..he he) here is just one example that two parents are better then one... tonight at church Tyler fell and hit his head on the concrete wall (never got the whole story..which probably means he was running or doing something that he shouldn't have been!) so they came and got me then as I was walking down the steps back to class they stopped me and told me that Emily Klair was not being herself and was afraid that she had just had a seizure...whew..so much for class for momma tonight! I applaud all of those single mothers/single fathers out there...two kids is alot a of responsibility for one person! *Only 40 more hours to go till his plane is scheduled to land.... not that I'm counting or anything!!

WOW!!

Well yesterday after having a very bad day and wondering what next?? my 7 year old son came home from school...his last day is today...he is in the first grade...he was so excited to show me his journal from the whole year!! It was great to see how much he has learned and to read what is going on in the mind of a 7 year old. There is some pretty funny things in that journal let me tell you!! But what got me the most was what he wrote in it yesterday..May 21,2008 I am going to type it exactly as written (remember he is in 1st grade) "Tonight I have to go to Church. Because every Wednesday we go to learn even more about God and Jesus to. We don't only go on Sundays because we want to learn more because I want to be like him. To be nice to people just like him because we need to love each other so they will play and be nice to each other." Wow is all I can say...out of the mouth of babes!! I love that he is "getting it" ... and what perfect timing...

Having a hard time...

Have any of you ever had a hard time understanding, relating to, or just a feeling of overall not getting it??? I often wonder sometimes if God is sitting on his throne wondering why we Christians are making it so hard and difficult on one another?? Just a thought I ponder (a lot here lately) Well I have and to be completely honest I am having a hard time understanding, and relating to anything that has to do with church or relegion right now. I am sick of the fighting and the "I'm right your wrong attitude" that seems to be flying around so freely right now. I have been shaken to the core yet again and not sure that this time I can find the will to fight through it. It is a true struggle for me to even want to go church, I have never felt this way but it is so real and I know that it is Satan working in me, but am I strong enough this time? I know that God is the only true one that knows what is on my heart and I pray that he will open my heart and consume me with the love and comfort that only he can...

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OFTHE YEAR!!!!

I have found the older I get I still enjoy the most simple things in life...


My kids are out of school in this next week and I can not wait. I love this time of year...the excitement of no school, staying up late, no plans other then swimming and picnics in the park, getting together with friends for short (not to mention cheap) day trips somewhere fun!!

We have also started our count down to our beach trip we take every year...5 weeks from Fri and counting... We have been going with some of our good friends Kelly and Tammy Lancaster and their children for the past 3 years and we have a ball..the kids get along great and there is just good times all the way around.


I can remember as a teen getting out of school for the summer was one of the best feelings in the world...as a mother now that has school age children I feel the same way. My birthday was this month (may 4) and I am now 31 yrs old, I know I know ...I'm old...but I feel like a kid at this time of year!!


I think that is what I love the most about this time of year is there is no schedule, no time frame for projects/homework, nothing other then fun and every day is an adventure if you let it be!! I already have been working on a pirate treasure hunt, camo party/camp out, princess swim bash... and for my kids at church (teenagers..gotta love them) a survivor weekend.....oh how I love to play!!!



I was getting our calendar ready for the kids to count down the days till the beach and ran across some of the pics from our trip last year...thought I would post two of my favorites!!! The 1st pic I call "future heart breakers" Tyler is the one on the left with his serious look and Evan is on the right...they are 14 days apart..and the best of friends!! The 2nd picture I call..."my little beach diva" it is amazing to me how much she has grown since our trip last summer...

Happy Mother's Day!!

Mother's day is Sunday and every year I do this. I am so happy and realize how lucky I truly am!! But it never fails that this day in the year when I should be so happy, so thankful, and just overall have a feeling of being blessed beyond words...I get sad, and my heart hurts.(not just for myself but for others who have lost) I can remember every detail of every pregnancy I have had, and lost. I can remember finding out I was pregnant, 5 times total...of happy days with lots of hope and prayers and knowing that I was going to be a mother. I can remember the panic I had from that first moment I knew something was not right with the 1st pregnancy down to the moment the Dr. said "sorry we do not know why, but it always seems to happen to the nicest families...sorry but you can try again.." and we did try again as soon as we were given permission. I found out I was pregnant and the worry began...I called the Dr.'s office and set up my first appt. and luckily because of my situation they wanted to see me in the next few days for some blood work. I went in got the blood work and that is how we found out that this pregnancy was not right...something was wrong and I was basically told to wait for a miscarriage that it would happen on it's own...so we waited and waited. I hated going to the Dr. I hated blood work that I had to get every other day for weeks...that all pointed to bad things! I couldn't take it anymore I was praying and hoping that things would be get better that things would turn around and that they were wrong...I mean I hadn't had a miscarriage so a miracle could happen, right? Well, the Dr. sat me down and explained everything to me and then told me that if we let it go much longer I would get really sick and could lose my ability to get pregnant at all...and recommended giving me a shot that would help the natural process along. I prayed so hard and couldn't understand it but knew it was what had to happen. So the next day I got the shot and that pregnancy was over...again. My 3rd pregnancy started off very much the same way as the 2nd but this one was different in the fact that the numbers on my blood work did not look bad until later in the first trimester...around the 8th week we found out that the baby was in my fallopian tube and not in the uterus...very dangerous for me and means that the baby would not get what it needs to grow and live. This pregnancy ended at 1:40 am on a operating table...I had to have emergency surgery. That was the hardest one...to know when you go to sleep that you are pregnant and to wake up knowing that your not! We found out through this surgery that my tubes did not work properly and that I could get pregnant easily but it was not getting to the uterus in time...and that it looked like we would never have children of our own. That was a very busy time for us..we had just bought our first house and we were looking into adoption agencies..I WANTED TO BE A MOTHER!! we got a puppy... I went back for my follow up with my dr. and was told to not even try anymore that they all would end up in miscarriage. Well little did he know that God had other plans for us..because I was already pregnant again! I found out a couple days later on my birthday(may 4) and this time there was no happiness, there was no hope...I was mad I was angry! I called the Dr. and they wanted to do blood work to make sure it was not something left from the surgery and last pregnancy. I said no! I could not bear another one so close and I think I just wanted to act like I was not pregnant and it would go away on its own like the others. Warren was graduating from David Lipscomb that weekend (may 7th) and I had planned a week long trip to Savannah, Ga..for us to just get away from it all...I was so proud of all the hard work he had done to graduated with a double major and still take care of us! I was so sick all that week...When I got home I had a Dr. appt. and the first part of it was blood work and then I would wait a hour and come back to know if it was a viable pregnancy or not! Talk about one long hour...luckily Warren was working in Nashville at the time and I called and asked if he could come I was nervous and scared and needed him with me for the bad news I knew was coming my way. That was one of the happiest days of my life...happiest,but still scary. My numbers looked great, they wanted to do a ultrasound..and I saw my baby for the first time, but there was no heartbeat..and there should have been. They told me to come back in a week and maybe my numbers were just a little off from the other pregnancy being so close and if there is not a heartbeat next week then there was nothing they could do..but if there was one then I was having a baby!!! That week lasted a lifetime...but nine months later..(a whole year to the day of the 1st miscarriage) Tyler Neil was born a 8lbs2oz bouncing baby boy! I am very blessed to be the mother of 2 great kids...and 3 waiting for me in heaven. Not a day goes by that I do not think about them and miss them. Mother's day is a very special day and I want to take the time to remember all the mother's that have lost a child...say a special prayer for all of those mother's that you know that are hurting on this special day!!! Happy Mother's day!!!!

"scared of everything type of kid"

Tyler has not been himself since the dog attack. We will really could not put our finger on it but just knew that he was off. (if you do not know the whole story check out my older post "just another chapter in our book...") He cried at the drop of a hat, he was not happy!(ever) Even soccer, his favorite thing in the world was not going so well. So on Wednesday of last week we sat him down and talked to him and asked what was going on?? His reply was so hard and sad to hear, he said that he was afraid of everything!! Everything that he went to do the first thing he thought was if this happens or that happens I will be hurt and have to go to the emergency room....what do you do to help your child with something like that?? I knew that he would be afraid of dogs and that it would take some time to get over but I never thought he would become this scared of everything type of kid. Warren is always a great daddy but that night he was the BEST!! He knew all the right words and all the ways to fix it. I know that we still have a little way to go with all of this but it has gotten so much better...so just pray for Tyler right now that he will get back to the fun, loving, sweetheart not afraid of anything little boy he was before that mean ole dog. ps. update on the dog for those of you that do not live here..it is back in the neighborhood and animal control told us if we ever see it off the chain to call and they will come pick it up..well silly people that did not do much good for Tyler seeing as how it was on the chain when it attacked him...

Just a preview....

I will post on this next Thursday...because that is the day of the actual event but I had to share this today!! I am a teacher for 4 more days at the little mothers day out program at church..we only go on Tuesday/Thursday!! Both of my children have went there since they were 18 months old-graduation....well that graduation for Emily Klair is next Thursday!! During our practices this last month it has just been "fun" to see her get on stage and sing and say her memory verse(just another program at the end of the year, right??)....but today as they were dressed in their caps and gowns and walking down the aisle to "pomp and circumstance"(that song gets me every time anyway!!) it hit me...This is it!! My baby is not a baby anymore. I cried and cried all through practice today...there is no telling what I am going to be like on the day of the actual graduation!! After 8 years of taking my kids to this school we are done and on to the "real deal"!! I will post next Thursday night and let you know how it went and I might even get some pics on here too!! Fingers crossed I can keep it together :P